Have you ever taken days off for no reason? I did that this week and took Thursday and Friday off to give myself a four day weekend. It was fantastic! Thursday was fun because I spent most of the day cooking. I have been doing more cooking lately. I think I am finally accepting that I live here now. I have found more of a drive to unpack and have started to want to cook and create a home again.. I might have underestimated the level of hurt I was unable to deal with these past eight months. I am healing though and learning how to live on my own and live for myself again. Even now, that sounds so selfish to me. I have never been a person to live for myself. I have always lived for others: my sister, my close friends, and my boyfriends.
This is the opposite of most people. Most people first learn how to live for themselves and then how to live for someone else. I have always been strange in that I would rather do something to better someone else's life than to better my own. I live through them. When they are happy, I am happy; when they hurt, I hurt. This might seem like a good thing to some but it is so unpredictable being so dependent on someone else. I have started to take control of my own happiness. It's harder than I imagined but I know it will be worth it and I will become a better person for it. It's not like I want to become fully self-centered. I just need to learn how to make myself happy and be self-sufficient before I let myself fall for anyone else. So when I do fall for a man, I am able to be myself because I will be able to recognize who that is.
ANYWAYS...:) Thursday was fun because I spent the whole day making soup and homemade bread. It was the perfect day for it because St. Louis got around four inches of powder fine snow dumped on us! I LOVE SNOW DAYS!! I spent the morning shoveling the driveway and then the afternoon was full of chopping and cooking. I did manage to squeeze a movie and some Food Network in thanks to our new 60 inch Plasma TV that I can see quite clearly from the kitchen. Its AMAZING!
Friday, I ran some errands in the morning and relaxed all afternoon. Then, I went out to South County in the evening to spend some time with Katie. We had fun relaxing and talking while having some beers. I felt like I was in college again...it was nice:)
Saturday, I was a bum and spent most of the day watching TV in bed and when I finally decided to get up mid afternoon, I went to get my car fixed with Dad and rented some movies.
Today was church and learning Lightroom from a friend at church. I am learning how to edit all of my awesome photos! Hopefully, when it gets warmer I can put all of my new knowledge to good use and really get into my photography. I am hoping to be able to get a wide-angle lens before we leave for Honduras in June. I will be able to get some amazing landscape photos with a wider lens.
Tomorrow, I'll be entering another photo contest with a picture I took of my sister on Christmas day... I can't wait and hope I win!
- ▼ 2010 (20)