Thursday, June 25, 2009

Just me...

I am a woman, a lover, a fighter. I am passionate and kind. I love with all of my heart and soul. Before I realize I'm on the verge, I fall head over heals. Usually, I hit the bottom but really, really enjoy the fall. I am a giver in every sense of the word. I'm a dreamer. I can sit for hours and think about anything. I am a planner; I plan my future, I plan my life. I miss my grandma, I miss my grandmas. I aspire to be as giving and hardworking as my grandma Becky. I know I want to name one of my girls after her and my sister.. My first girl will be named, Kaidence Jayne. I'll call her Kaidi Jay. These are the things I think about and plan. I am afraid of rejection, sometimes so much it's crippling. I am focused and driven. I am easily distracted, except when there is something or someone important to focus on. I am beautiful. I like to read. I am smart and learn faster than most. I make my own blankets and taught my grandma to crochet. I like volunteer work. I am passionate about helping people. I want kids sooner rather later in life. I aim to be the best possible person.. I feel like I am almost there mentally but physically I am a work in progress.... I am a work in progress...

Thursday, June 11, 2009

Sweet treats...

So not much to write about today. I have to say I really wish my job was more active. I absolutely hate that I am stuck at a chair in front of a computer all day. I am getting better at my job and feel like I am doing a good job. I just feel the need to get up and move around. My back has been hurting from the chairs and awkward position all day. We do have a lot of food days though and I have to say I am quite proud of myself for not over-indulging on those days which is a huge accomplishment. We have another one tomorrow that is mexican-themed. I am proud to say I played "Suzie homemaker" tonight and made homemade flan and tres leches cake. Hopefully they turn out ok (both have to be refrigerated overnight). I was pretty impressed with myself:) I have to say I would make a pretty excellent wifey... someday.

Unfortunately, my momentum for workouts has slowed and I only got up once this week (tuesday) before work to workout. I am going to do it again tomorrow and then mow the lawn tomorrow evening so that will make two days of workouts this week. I will workout again on Saturday but that still is only three times when I had planned on everyday at least going for a walk. It is a start though so I can't beat myself up too bad. I will do better next week.

On a higher note, I got the CUTEST linen pants in the mail today from Victoria's Secret! I also got some tanks and two bikinis. Note: their swimsuits/bikinis run SMALL. So, I have to send back the swimsuits but no biggie. I have some old ones I can wear if all else fails. Maybe I'll try a tankini. I leave for the East Coast in a month!!! Yay! So excited about seeing my family and spending some quality time with my sister. Its amazing how much I miss her.

Well, I had better get to sleep so I can wake up super duper early!

Sunday, June 7, 2009

Two weeks later...


Yes. That's right. It has been two weeks since the dreadful break up. Honestly, I have more good days than bad. I am trying to work on myself and make myself happy; something I haven't done in years. I have started a new project entitled, Project Me. I have several phases to this modification that I think will lead to me finding who I am and the type of person God wants me to be.

The first phase of Project Me is mental. Since I am out of school and don't have a mentally challenging job, I have decided it is important for me to keep my mind active. I have started to read more. (If anyone wants a good book I will pass on this suggestion that my bestest friend Micah passed to me, Something Borrowed by Emily Griffin. It's a fairly quick read and keeps you interested the whole time. (thanks, Micah).) I have always loved reading and have never had the time to read more than one or two books at a time. I am going to try to average a book a week. I need to keep my mind active just like I am trying to keep my body active.

Which leads me to phase II of Project Me which is my physical self. I have been talking about losing these extra pounds that have been accumulating since high school but I think that now is the best time for me to do something about it. I am about 50 pounds away from being at my very best weight. I am about 10-15 pounds away from feeling better about who I am. So, my first goal for phase II will be to lose 15 pounds by the time I leave for vacation July 9th. Thats about a month away so I really need to get serious about working out. I have been doing Weight Watchers for about 2 weeks now and have lost about 4lbs. I now need to get my butt in gear and start working out. I know what to do but its getting off my lazy butt before or after work that is the block for me. My favorite workout time is, of course, right in the middle of my work day so I have to adjust my motivation to either wake up an hour earlier (which is super hard for me) or start working out right after I get home from work which is what I need to do. I might start getting up 30 min earlier and going for a run and then do 45 min of weight training after work. That way it is broken up into smaller groups and I don't feel so overwhelmed. I am going to track my workouts and eating on my other blog knowallfitness so if you want to see how I am doing I'll try to post pictures....

So, those are my first two phases of Project Me. I going to add more after I have established these two in my life because in every good behavior change model you can't start every change you want to make at once if you want it to stick. I know I need to work on my mental and physical health to make myself feel better and stronger at this point in my life. After that, who knows? I might try to continue my language learning and get a Rosetta Stone to practice my Spanish. Any suggestions on other things I should try?

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