Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Overwhelmed

Usually, the word overwhelmed has a bad connotation, but right now, this word best describes everything amazing and good that is going on in my life right now. If I were looking in at my life from someone else's point of view, I would probably think I was crazy for not feeling something other than joy.  I have so much going on that could scare me and shut me down.  I never imagined I would be this blessed all at once.

I start back to school in January for a career that I pray I will be able to master. I am afraid I will not be able to overcome passing out at the sight of a bad injury/blood. I am afraid I will waste more money and time in school and not be able to excel.  Even though I am afraid of all of these things, I am still EXCITED about going back to school to learn how to care for the sick.

In January, I will also be learning a new job. Our team will be under a new segment and this is both scary and exciting as well. This new segment offers a LOT of new potential for growth.  If things work out like I hope, I will be starting school as well as starting a new job. I hope this will mean a significant raise as well.

Saving the best for last.... I am completely, head over heels in love. I am unable to comprehend how this has happened so fast and it should scare me.  I have never felt so comfortable being myself with someone. This man loves me for me and that completely amazes me.  All of my life, I have been holding a mask for each man I have dated.  I have molded myself to be what they need. I sacrificed what I needed to make them happy and I have been hurt and have hurt myself in the process.

Dustin is completely different.

We accept each other exactly as we are. He is passionate and caring.  Best of all, he has a great love for God that I have been searching for in a man. He holds me accountable and I support him. All of my friends are probably sick of hearing about him, because I can not express enough how happy I am.  I just pray now that God will continue to show us His will for our lives and help us follow the path He has laid out for us.

With all of these things going on in my life, I am completely overwhelmed. God does not want us to become comfortable but to constantly be challenged because as long as we are challenged, we are growing.  I am so thankful God has let me find this place where I am challenged and insanely happy at the same time.

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