The past two months have been so busy and I thought after October my life would slow down a little but it seems to be picking up speed. Between work, my photography, friends and family, I have been very sleep deprived but happy! It's funny how you think you have far too much on your plate but somehow find time for more...
On that same subject, I have a new boyfriend. He is amazing. I really can not describe how this all happened. All I know is he is a gift from God. I have asked for a man that accepts me just as I am. One who tells me I am beautiful and looks me in the eye and I know he is telling me the truth. I have asked for a man who is open and honest and likes affection. A giver and a taker. I have only been seeing Dustin for around 2 weeks but thus far, he is all of these things and more. His passion for the Lord is overflowing which inspires and motivates me to reach higher. I had become lax in my motivation for reading my bible and praying and not only because of him but because I want to know for certain this is right, I have been praying and looking to God for guidance in a way I haven't in a LONG time.
I feel God's hand on this and I can feel Him working in my life. It has all happened so fast and all at once. I am starting back to nursing school in Jan. Dustin has swept me off my feet. I have an amazing group of friends I can whole heartedly say I would do anything for and trust that they would do the same for me. I have FINALLY started to lose some more weight.My sister has a new, great job and our relationship is growing again.
So is it wrong that I am waiting for the ceiling to fall in? Last year was so hard. So much loss in our family and so much loss in my life. I feel like I am afraid to move sometimes in fear that something might shift just enough to make everything crumble. It reminds me of when I was little and I would hear my mom yell at me to do something but I would sit as still and quietly as I could, hoping she would simply forget about what she had just yelled and move on to someone else. I feel like if I stay quiet and don't move too much, things will stay happy.
I am just trying not to dwell in that fear and enjoy what I have in front of me. I am trying to build my life in Christ and know that He is my strong foundation and if I am still and quiet and continue to follow the path He has laid out before me, I will be ok and someday that fear will disappear and I will accept that God has given me this amazing life to live in happiness and I no longer have to fear the storm.
- ▼ 2010 (20)